I’m no poet nor am I the fancy kind of writer and its not mother’s day, but I wanted to take the time to honor the mothers of the world.

This post was inspired by a critical comment that was directed towards my mothering choices a couple of months ago. The guilty party was quite offended by a particular choice I made as if it were a personal attack to them. They failed to realize that my decisions were not about them, but about my child. Despite every attempt to explain, they failed to realize that it was made with an intent believed to be the best for my child and not because I did not value them nor their opinion. As a result, the guilty party proceeded to compare me to other mothers.

While I normally do not entertain such behavior, I felt completely attacked in that moment. My choices as a parent are derived from how the Holy Spirit leads me and my husband and I’s vision, desire and personal preferences. I put in hard work into raising my child as many of us do. Every decision is a personal choice fit for me and my little one. So I concluded that any personal offense taken by anyone because of a personal decision is ill-fitting and inappropriate.

The negativity inspired me to let mothers know that their best will not always look like some else’s perceived best and that is perfectly fine. I’m not discrediting the work of a father, but simply recognizing the challenges of working and stay-at-home moms alike and acknowledging them through encouragement.

So here goes something…something I call, “Ode to Mothers”

You are important and your purpose important just the same!

You are strong, equipped and able to guide your children to fulfilling lives. Someone told you different? They are wrong! Someone implied differently? They are still wrong!

What you do will not look like your neighbor’s because it belongs to you. Own it, be confident in it, run (not walk) with it. It is what makes your bond with your child unique to you. It is what makes your child’s purpose on this earth unique to them as you move as your instincts tell you.

Don’t attempt to replicate, don’t imitate, don’t compare. Instead create, create, create. To create is a God-given gift to be shared with all you encounter.

Don’t look back and dwell on what you perceived as a foolish mistake, but move forward, learn, grow and seek WISE counsel if necessary. Your child will benefit from the latter.

Not everyone will agree with your choices. That is perfectly fine. Some will even think they have the right to tell you your mothering is filled with “Do Nots” & “Don’ts more than “Dos.” 

YOUR journey is YOUR journey, not his journey, nor her journey, nor their journey.

You are strong, equipped and able!

The reality: we live in a world of critical creatures. Heck, I’ve been guilty of submitting them myself. What I have learned in the face of the doubting world (whether its strangers, family or friends) is to trust in your instincts. They were given to you for a reason. If you have to constantly second guess yourself because of the many comments, status quo impositions and criticisms that have been fed into your brain, then you will render yourself unable to operate out of your best as a parent. Subsequently, you will deny your child the best of you he/she needs to grow, progress and step into his/her purpose in the world.

We don’t want that!

If you are uncertain, again I say rely on your instincts.

• If your instincts tell you to seek WISE counsel/advice, go for it.
• If your instincts tell you to go against the grain/status quo, go for it

If you have a relationship with God, rely on His Spirit who is involved in every aspect of your life.

Normel Smith

Wife to an amazing husband, mother to an exploring toddler and an MPA graduate aspiring to impact the world with encouragement in mothering and in social entrepreneurship.