I usually wake up between the hours of 4:30 and 6:30 am depending on the day. On an excellent day 4:30am. On a great day, 5:30am.  On a good day, 6:30am. At 7:30, I can still work it out somehow.

How my day starts sets the tone for the rest of the day, so those early morning hours are so important to me. It means husband and baby get the sane, fully functional, I can do anything ME. Otherwise, they would get the “cook your own meal (ha),” coo coo, frazzled ME.

Well…my son woke up at 5:30am this morning. You know what that means?

It means he was infringing on my “Me Time (so important to master in motherhood).” I didn’t mind the wake up call (I was actually asleep until that point) because I needed to be up anyway. So I laid in bed with him expecting him to fall asleep again. On the contrary, he tossed and turned, gave bear sleeping daddy a kick or two (maybe 10), rolled on daddy’s face…the list goes on. I admit, I got a kick out of it for at least an hour as daddy hissed his teeth and turned over avoiding the inevitable blows to his face.

We make an exit and enter into the living room where we say our morning prayer. I go to turn on the television. At this point Aaron is excited because he thinks I’m going to put on his favorite show. He was in for a rude awakening.

You are not selfish. You are raised better than that. I declare that!

The Story: this boy listened quietly to the youtube worship playlist until I got up and started to really get into it. At first, I thought, “maybe because I’m blocking the television,” so I moved. Then I thought maybe my singing was throwing off his listening pleasure (the child loves music).

I didn’t give into that one. I KNOW I sing GOOD!

Then it hit me, he wanted the attention for himself.

Well…”listen, listen! Listen to me, you woke up during my ‘Me & God Time,’ SO……“Worship with Me OR Sit down and BE QUIET!”

Did that work you ask? Not at first. He did put up a fight, tugging and pulling at my legs and throwing the kinds of tantrums you see children do in toy stores when daddy and mommy tell him/her they cannot have the toy they want.

The amazing thing is that I was able to get into a deep place of worship as all of this was happening…happening for atleast 30 minutes that is (yes, I am a strong willed soul…and clearly so is my kid). Then it hit me: this incredible feeling of understanding—aka revelation—of where God wants us to be.

That is: completely focused on Him. So focused that not even the heaviest distractions keep you from him, so that you grow closer to him, so that you look more like him, so you move with him.

Two Sundays ago, my pastor preached on the connection of being free to focusing on God and becoming what you behold, but today, it call came together.

Normel Smith

Wife to an amazing husband, mother to an exploring toddler and an MPA graduate aspiring to impact the world with encouragement in mothering and in social entrepreneurship.