“The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.” 

“About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won’t like you at all.”

“Why are you trying so hard to fit in, when you’re born to stand out” 

“I don’t think we can be a people-pleaser or an approval-addict AND be brave with our lives. Perhaps that’s why fearlessness or bravery starts with our identity first, it’s the deep well from which we draw living water, enough for today.”

These quotes stand out to me the most when I think about this nuance of being yourself, being free in who you are and why there are so many cases of people who have been afraid to be just that (including myself at one point in my life).

At some level, in some capacity, if you are privileged and blessed enough, you come to an understanding of who you are and you run with it. You allow it to be a guiding force in your dreams, goals and desires—ideally anyway.

Yet in all generations and walks of life, you will find people filled with fear to be who they are to a point where they don’t know who they are. Why is that? What’s a person to do, you just can’t help it right? You can’t help but hide in your shell because its the easiest thing to do and because there is zero risk involved.

After all:

• You can’t say this or do that because people will think you are weird.
• If you say this or you do that, you won’t have any friends nor will anyone want to marry you.
• You can’t wear this or wear that because people will judge you.
• If you speak like that, you will not be accepted by the people you want most to accept you.
• You can’t talk about Jesus because people are simply turned off by it.
• If you say that, church folk will judge you: calling you unspiritual, not a true follower of Christ

Do you see a commonality here? Forget the can’ts or shouldn’t do’s of the list and take a closer look. Have you gotten it yet? If not, here it is:

Every single point of fear finds its foundation in OTHER people. Every hindrance in being yourself is based on the instability that characterizes the possibility of critiques, thoughts and judgements of ANOTHER person. The moment you let a person control you in this manner (by you allowing that to dictate what you do, how you do, when you do if you do), is the moment you have lost every sense of what it means to be unique, different, YOU!

There is something on the inside of me that wants to tell people like it is, to give people the hardcore real truth. It is partially why I started this blog. The “like it is” doesn’t always sound so pretty. I wonder if I say it, will the person’s feelings be hurt. The last thing I would want to be is the source of someone’s hurt. There was a point in my life where a series of honest words and actions blew up in my face because it was just too much for that person. I called it the honesty monster. I recoiled into a shell after that.

Why couldn’t I muster up the guts anymore? There are plenty who do it—publicly at that. Some appreciate it, some don’t. Those that don’t are the ones that say its rude, or the opinion wasn’t warranted or desired and a host of other things that are just not apropos at the moment. Fair enough. But, let’s be honest, everyone has an opinion. Mine were well intentioned always. I’ve been lied to so much that I didn’t want to “deprive” anyone else of the truth.

I still don’t. Don’t you want someone to tell you that your breath is just not right, or that your shirt is on backwards. How about something a little more serious like: “you were wrong in what you said and if you don’t stop, your family will hate you.” That could have been the clonk on your head that you needed.

In all reality, some will take to you and some won’t. Do you question yourself for those that won’t take to you. Or do you move forward in boldness for those that will take to you.

But who are you? What makes you, you exactly? Is it:

• your personality
• the music YOU like
• the food YOU like
• the people YOU choose to surround yourself with
• the things you choose to believe
• the lifestyle you choose to follow
• your talents, skills and abilities
• the way you speak

All of the above are things that can make you unique, different, YOU. Made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27), you are still unique, something makes you stand out to the point where you are identifiable by the very hairs on your head (Matthew 10:30).

I was one of those fearful people dreading the thought of being rejected, judged, not fitting in with those around me.

I found that when you begin to tuck away parts of your personality because of fear, you begin to lose yourself as a person. 

What are you hear for? A purpose!

How are you to come in that purpose? being the person you are created to be. I’m not saying to totally disregard a person’s feelings. I think that that should be heavily considered.

I’m saying be YOU! And don’t be afraid of it!

You are a lion waiting to come out of his cage. Every moment you waste keeping that fierceness in the cage, makes you a little crazy. Imagine a caged lion day in and day out pacing back and forth just waiting to be free (after all its his nature to be free, to roam, to hunt, to chase as he pleases). Keep him caged up and hungry long enough, when he gets out, he becomes like a savage beast. Lions are cunning and strategic. The bible makes references to lions as a creature of power. You take that nature of your inner lion away when you keep him caged up.

Lord, I pray that every soul that encounters this post will not be afraid to be who they are, to be the people they are born to be so that they can effectively live the lives they are meant to live, influence the people they are meant to influence, connect to the people they are meant to connect to so they can effectively fulfill what they are destined and purposed to do on this earth. In Jesus Name

Normel Smith

Wife to an amazing husband, mother to an exploring toddler and an MPA graduate aspiring to impact the world with encouragement in mothering and in social entrepreneurship.