Change is how we experience something new, change is how we experience loss, change is how we progress, change is how we build or what pushes us to build, change is how we purpose in our hearts to do something different, change is how our relationships evolve, change is how the unnecessary relationships dissolve.

Change brings hurt, change brings pain, change brings joy, change brings fulfillment, change brings increase and change brings knowledge and awareness.

If you have been keeping up with my posts (which I promise will start to be more consistent around here…So don’t fret you faithful readers you), then you know that I always start with a story, with a narrative of sorts that leads to a life lesson—lessons that I love to share. However, this time I think I will just get straight to the point.

So what is the truth about change?

• Category #1: Sometimes its expected and desired

• Category #2: Sometimes its expected, but you just feel you are not ready for it so its not desired.

• Category #3: Sometimes its unexpected and not desired

• Category #4: Sometimes its unexpected and desired

I’m sure there are some exceptions to this list (aka “gray areas” for not everything is black and white), but I’m sticking to this list for now.

Here is MY truth about change: I want it so bad, that I can taste it, feel it, see it and just GO without looking back (category #1)! I have been telling myself all year that there needs to be and is going to be a change of pace in my life. I know its positive, I know that there is much to gain from it. Those expectations have not failed me in personal development.

BUT, the first thing I did was chop off my hair: my outward declaration of the expected and desired change.

I originally started to write this post simply thinking about change as a life change without factoring in the personal and internal change that works in conjunction with a life change. In order to come to a place of expecting and desiring change, there needs to be an internal and personal change that takes place as well.

“Resistance is always greatest when change is inflicted on people without their involvement, making the change effort feel oppressive or constraining. if it is possible to tie change to things people already want, and give them a chance to act on their own goals and aspirations, then it is met with more enthusiasm and committment.” – Rosabeth Moss Kanter

Yup, that sounds about right. But let’s push past the automatic resistance that takes place for a second.

• Your mindset/outlook has to change. Everything starts with your mind. Envision yourself accomplishing and overcoming much.

Even though I wanted to be home with my first child and be instrumental in his growth, I never thought that I would reach a place, where I missed working. Being home made me realize that while I wanted to work, I didn’t want to work for anyone. I have visions and dreams like most people and I didn’t feel like I was getting closer to them any faster. So I would experience pockets of shame for not reaching my goals, pockets of embarrassment, pockets of feelings of failure.

When I changed my mindset and recognized the positive changes in my son’s growth then receiving compliments from strangers, when I changed my mindset and remained hopeful in pursuing visions, dreams and goals, I simply became more grateful and more enthusiastic about my future.

• Once your mindset changes, your words have to change

Match your new mindset with positive words about your current life and your future even if you don’t see it yet. Its much better than feeling sorry for yourself if even things don’t happen the way you expect them to.

• Once your words change, the people you choose to surround your self with and choose to be personal with has to change.

Maybe this is not the right response and maybe it is, but I rendered myself distant from the those I expected support from and did not live to that expectation. I’m not saying this should be your solution, but I am saying that those that encourage you, hold you accountable, offer you help and actually do it and give you constructive/helpful criticism are the ones you want to keep around.

So what is the truth about change?

 

1. Be prepared for it. If its unexpected, how can you be prepared for it?

Get to a place in your life where you expect change to happen—and to happen constantly—no matter the cost because you expect to progress, because you expect to grow and because you expect to develop over time. Be prepared in your mind to take a lesson learned from everything you experience and to move on. I believe life is meant to be a continual flow of exciting newness—even if it came from a bad situation that seems to be getting worse.

“Change is not permanent. Change is not ultimate. Change is forever morphing, twisting and turning, but that is all part of the beautiful journey of your life. So embrace change, even when it feels like it has veered of course, because every change is part of your unique journey to be the person you truly are.”

2. It can be hard, and can make you uncomfortable, but sometimes necessary no matter what category you place it. I find that people learn differently and that can include learning life lessons by choosing the harder route, learning a lesson by feeling threatened first or learning a lesson by getting comfortable and then uncomfortable. It’s not something to be feared, its not something to complain about, but something to embrace.

Change can be as precious as giving birth to a newborn child to care for or as a nuisance like the company you work for going out of business rendering you jobless. What you going to do about that change? What lessons are you going to allow yourself to learn from it? How are you going to move forward?

It involves a filtering process that comes from these life experiences (a process that results in the same manner as the clean water you get from purchasing a filter for your tap water). Its a process (sometimes painful) that refines and refines until you are left with the purest form you can possibly get—filter out pessimists, filter in the optimists, filter out negative perspectives, filter in positive perspectives, filter out fear, filter in boldness, filter out irresponsible spending, filter in financial wisdom.

 

I want to encourage you to see change as an opportunity to discover something new about yourself, about your life, about the decisions you have made and try something new. Its a great way to turn a challenge into an opportunity, to make the best out of a negative situation forcing you into this change. Maybe there is no negative situation for you, but you are just not comfortable. Turn the opportunity for change as a chance to break out of your comfort zone and explore the untapped places of your personal potential. 

What is your truth about change? What is your change category? How do you feel about about the change or lack thereof in your life? Do you think that these categories encompass life change? Why or why not? Share your story in the comments below and join the conversation.